QUESTIONS: Really bad jokes

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質問 答え
Why do most women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
学び始める
Because most men are stupid but few are blind.
What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
学び始める
A stick.
What is the best definition of a mixed emotion?
学び始める
Watching the mother-in-law reverse off a cliff driving your brand new car.
Why is divorce so expensive?
学び始める
Because it's worth it.
How many selfish people does it take to screw in a light bulb?
学び始める
Only one, the world revolves around them.
What is another name for female Viagra?
学び始める
A Diamond.
How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?
学び始める
Easily, concrete floors are very hard to crack!
If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand and 4 pears and 3 pineapples in the other hand, what would you have?
学び始める
Very large hands.
How can a man go eight days without sleep?
学び始める
He sleeps at night.
Why it is impossible to send a telegram to Washington today?
学び始める
Because he’s dead.
Why did a confused woman stare at a carton of apple juice for 20 minutes?
学び始める
Because it said “Concentrate” on the side of the carton.
Why does nobody eat clowns?
学び始める
Because they taste funny.
Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?
学び始める
Because there wasn't a single person there.
What do people in prison use to communicate with each other?
学び始める
Cell phones
What is the longest sentence that a man knows?
学び始める
I do.
What would you have if you crossed a panther with a burger?
学び始める
Really fast food.
Why do traffic lights rarely go swimming?
学び始める
Because they take much too long to change.
Why is it that birds fly southwards for the winter?
学び始める
Because it’s much too far to walk.
What falls regularly though never gets hurt?
学び始める
Rain.
Why is it that people always walk whenever they play the bagpipes?
学び始める
Even they are attempting to get away from that awful noise.
Why do you never see elephants hiding up in trees?
学び始める
Because they’re really good at it.
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic?
学び始める
Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there is a dog.
What do a green apple and a red apple have in common?
学び始める
They’re both red except for the green one.
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
学び始める
Between you and me, something smells.
Which is the most curious letter?
学び始める
Y.

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